Woodynyou wrote a post a few months back detailing his love of morning sex. It reminded me of all the things I hate about morning sex-smelly unwashed bodies, morning breath and my undying love for cigarettes and coffee asap.
The problem with hating morning sex is that I love morning wood. Waking up to a hard cock resting in my ass cheeks always makes me smile.
This isn’t really the porn’s fault (except that porn is so goddamn good that it makes me watch it, calls to me-”Hey Quick Concluder, this is Porn talking to you, you know you’d like to orgasm right now, why not stop over to pornhub and see what’s going down…”) it’s really my own stupidity that pisses me off.
I love watching porn but my entire apartment building doesn’t need to know this.
…you’re not watching me masturbate? I lied. (Well, you’re not, but someone else did.)
The lights are dim and we’re laying on our sides watching tv. His naked body is pressed up against my backside, hands running over my mostly naked body. His mouth, teeth and tongue start at my neck and work their way down my back.
Lower. View full article »
I didn’t just know him, he was my live-in boyfriend for three years. I didn’t realize he had this little pants-on fetish until we had been living together for about a year.
I thought it was kinda weird. But most fetishes are.
Why was I not informed? Oh, cause no one talks about it so I just get to grow up feeling all smug with my little special secret. Except everyone else is doing it too!
Boys talk about about jerking off, I had heard about jerking off. I didn’t know that I was doing the female equivalent. Or that it was perfectly normal to do.
I don’t know exactly how old I was when I started tickling my taco (I believe it was between 3rd and 4th grade because I remember sitting in my 4th grade classroom thinking “if they only knew” kinds of thoughts), but I know that I have been touching myself in a non-sexual way for, oh, my entire life. I assume all kids do, as I assume all moms tell you not to touch yourself. I just always assumed she meant in public, kind of like picking your nose. (Don’t tell a child not to pick their nose and then let them see you doing it when you think no one is looking. And if “God” didn’t want our fingers there, he would have made the holes smaller or our fingers bigger. These are just the things that everyone does.)
 | woodynyou on Going to the Gyno |
| woodynyou on Going to the Gyno |
 | mattdyne on Going to the Gyno |
| mattdyne on Going to the Gyno |
 | Jacque on The Blackest Man on Earth… |
