What’s the weirdest reason that you’ve broken up with someone?

Here’s mine. We were somehow, amazingly, together for two years. This was in the college years, about 10 years ago. I found out, from his best friend, that he was planning on proposing.

I could not marry this guy.

Why?

Oh my god, did his balls stink. Bad. Like I don’t think he knew he had to wash them.

I could barely stand being on top during sex because the fumes were so bad. I could seriously smell his balls (I guess smell rises) even though my face was several feet from his balls.

One day, after we had been together for months, if I would suck his cock before we had sex.

Ummmm, no. I told him that I don’t do that (which was the truth and then would not have been the time to start).

But seriously, I would have died down there. The fumes were enough to gag me from several feet away and I can’t even imagine up close.

And he was the first black guy I had sex with so I Quickly Concluded that all black men had nasty balls. I didn’t date another black guy for years because of him.

One of my favorite things

Woodynyou wrote a post a few months back detailing his love of morning sex. It reminded me of all the things I hate about morning sex-smelly unwashed bodies, morning breath and my undying love for cigarettes and coffee asap.

The problem with hating morning sex is that I love morning wood. Waking up to a hard cock resting in my ass cheeks always makes me smile.

Naked Picture Day!

Not of me though! I am very mad at Dreads right now (though it’s kinda hypocritical). I’m not going to say why right now but I’m sure that you can imagine that it’s very, very bad. (Still sitting here on my hypocritical high horse.)

(By the way, I’m just ramble here for a minute. The naked picture will be after the jump.)

I know I said before that “I wish I could throw his picture up because words cannot do him justice.” Now I can. Because I’m mad, it’s my blog and I can do whatever I want. And my friend Cat said I can. So there.

I know, I may seem kinda flippant right now but my emotions are rolling back and forth between raging, seething anger, trying to make myself see the humor in this and rationalizing everything in my head.

I’ll write a follow up post about the reason for the anger (if you can’t guess) but I may not post it until tomorrow. Or whatever. Maybe later today. Depends on how I’m feeling. (Right now, pretty crazy. Anything could happen.)

So if you always wanted to see a picture of a hot (in my opinion anyway) naked black man with Dreads, you’ve come to the right place. Now unfortunately, the only cock picture I have doesn’t include his damn face so I’ll have to post a few so you get the full feel. Okay? (By the way, I also told him that I was going to do this. His response was that he wishes that I wouldn’t but that he couldn’t stop me.)

Picture time!

“I’m just going to disappoint you” 2

Did you read Part 1? If not, you should go do it and I’ll still be waiting here when you get back…Yup, I’m still here.

So the Lionheart Guy and I met again for another round of drinks. We start making out again which was good because I kinda decided that he was a little boring and didn’t need to talk too much. So I needed to keep his mouth busy.

“I am just going to disappoint you”

I posted a Craiglist ad in the beginning of January. Had a few seemingly good responses. One was cute, but bored me to tears. The other was just completely horrible .

Needless to say, I didn’t expect much when going into the third date. All I knew was that he had really nice eyes and was offering free alcohol down on Lark Street.

Remember when I said…

…you’re not watching me masturbate? I lied. (Well, you’re not, but someone else did.)

The lights are dim and we’re laying on our sides watching tv. His naked body is pressed up against my backside, hands running over my mostly naked body. His mouth, teeth and tongue start at my neck and work their way down my back.

Lower.

Slight Clarifications…

on yesterday’s post about dick size and insecurity. Just some general things that I wanted to blather on about.  I don’t even know if these could be considered clarifications.

When I was younger, and (slightly) more immature than I am now, I was always amazed at the self-confidence that most men (boys) seemed to exude. They never seemed as self-conscious or ashamed of their bodies as I felt. I don’t just feel my insecurities-like most women I know, I verbalize them.

Here vs. There-Dick Size and Insecurity

I’m still collecting data about this (ah, who am I kidding, I haven’t “collected data” in quite some time) but it is something I’ve noticed in the limited sample of foreigners that I’ve been with. And it’s been consistent.

Waiting for someone to prove me wrong. About anything really.

Why do women fake orgasms?

This is something that guys I’ve talking about my prior experiences with faking it always ask. And it’s something I’ve asked myself many times.

Sex can be a difficult thing to talk about. Especially when I’m not truly absolutely enjoying sex as much as I would enjoy time spent alone with my vibrator. (Not entirely true all the time, depends on the situation.)

Why is it tough to talk about?

Fuck me from the back, please…

My favorite position, in general, is anything from the back. I think that could be linked to my anal fetish.

The primal feel of it. I want him to look at my ass while his cock is busy sliding in and out of me.

I want him to want my ass. But I don’t know if I’ll let him have it…