Very original title right there. I guess you can assume, rightfully so, that there will be pictures of my naked ass after the jump.
Category: Self
If you ask me, there really aren’t any good reasons to get married. I would know, I’ve done it. It’s boring, you get into a rut and take each other for granted. You settle down, don’t really do anything anymore, have kids and life gets worse from there. Then instead of being somone, you are someone’s mom.
At least this had held true with my friends and my life.
Here’s mine. We were somehow, amazingly, together for two years. This was in the college years, about 10 years ago. I found out, from his best friend, that he was planning on proposing.
I could not marry this guy.
Why?
Oh my god, did his balls stink. Bad. Like I don’t think he knew he had to wash them.
I could barely stand being on top during sex because the fumes were so bad. I could seriously smell his balls (I guess smell rises) even though my face was several feet from his balls.
One day, after we had been together for months, if I would suck his cock before we had sex.
Ummmm, no. I told him that I don’t do that (which was the truth and then would not have been the time to start).
But seriously, I would have died down there. The fumes were enough to gag me from several feet away and I can’t even imagine up close.
And he was the first black guy I had sex with so I Quickly Concluded that all black men had nasty balls. I didn’t date another black guy for years because of him.
My computer died. So I’m writing this from my Ipod. Hopefully I can get a new one soonish but until then the postings will be sparse. I just wanted to let you all know why I haven’t been around lately. 
Dating can be tough when you don’t like to leave the house.
Actually, I like to leave the house. My angry stomach/butt problem doesn’t like me to leave the house.
But I hate leaving the house because what if I have to poop?
Except that it’s really an all-consuming panicky kind of thing. But it’s kinda funny. And annoying too. (Thank God no one here knows me in real life.)
I have IBS. What is IBS? Irritable Bowel Syndrome. What does that mean? (I know, you’re thinking WTF does this has to do with what she normally writes. Hopefully you’ll see the connection.)
It means I spend a lot of time in the bathroom. Or none at all.
Has anyone ever encountered a non-kisser? What the hell do you do with them? I love making out! Climbing into some guys lap, grinding our crotches together and feeling his hard cock before I get to see it.
There is a story in the works about this soon. 
(Allow me to apologize in advance for the length of this.)
First of all, Pretty Blond forgot her lei so I left mine in the car. I didn’t really need it anyway because I forgot that, as one guy in a grocery store once told me, I am a “dick magnet.” Especially foreigner’s of non-European decent. And anyone who is not white. But I’ll get to that.
I think that girls going out together tend to be a drama fest of some sort.
I’m never drinking again. (I say that every time I drink.)
I have had a toothache for three days. I’m not talking a little pain, I’m talking wholly-crap-is-invisible-person-kicking-me-in-the-face pain. It got very bad last night and this morning.
So I finally broke down and decided to call the dentist instead of sitting here staring at the wall because it hurt so bad I couldn’t function.
I’m feeling a little frisky over here in Albany, NY tonight. So I got inspired by Woody’s post and decided to take a few upskirt pictures with the help of my trusty floor fan. And my digital camera.
If you don’t like thick thighs and tan lines, these pictures are not for you. Opinions appreciated. Pick a favorite or hate them all.
