Where were we?

Ah yes, massive computer death, a long sadness with no computer (no porn!) and now the light is back. Porn instantly at my fingertips.

And my blog.

I’m kinda playing with fire over here and getting ready to watch it all explode. I got rid of one of the three problems yesterday, so that only leaves me with two. Now I just need to get rid of one or the other, or both, and then I can relax.

The End (Sorta)

So I haven’t seen Dreads in like two weeks. Cause we kinda broke up. Or he dumped me. Or put us on pause. Or something.

I kinda knew it was coming, but dammit I haven’t been dumped since high-school when I was 16. It was tough and I was handing out all kinda of shit to him. I could actually hear him crying and sniffling on the other side of the phone.

For two hours.

One of my favorite things

Woodynyou wrote a post a few months back detailing his love of morning sex. It reminded me of all the things I hate about morning sex-smelly unwashed bodies, morning breath and my undying love for cigarettes and coffee asap.

The problem with hating morning sex is that I love morning wood. Waking up to a hard cock resting in my ass cheeks always makes me smile.

Could we please just cut the fucking apron strings already? 3

With Dreads, it’s not money they are after. It’s his time. Which wouldn’t be a big deal if it was known in advance, but it feels like it’s always last minute. They just seem to drop things in his lap, expect him to be at their beck and call and drop everything to do whatever it is they want. And, from what I’ve seen of his personality, he doesn’t like confrontation.

So I imagine he just agrees to whatever with them and blows me off. Because he seems used to things being that way.

I wasn’t blaming her for any of this

I called her a lot of things when I was texting him the other day trying to get answers. I called her cunt, whore, bitch and slut. But I wasn’t blaming her and I don’t actually think she is any of those things. She didn’t know about me either. (According to him.)

And even if she did, it’s not her responsibility to maintain the relationship between Dreads and myself. It’s mine and Dreads responsibility. We are the ones that are supposed to care about what is going on between us.

So why did I call her a bunch of bad names in my texts?

Will he still be friends with her?

I know, ask him, right. Because right now I trust him soooooo much.

Can he still be “friends” with his ex-girlfriend after they crossed the line?

He apparently thinks/thought so. Until I set him straight.

Should he have said anything?

If you’re new to the situation, let me quickly get you up to speed-my boyfriend cheated on me. See here and there. I need to get all the crap I’m thinking out of my head.

If what he said was true-the it was only once (or even if it were a couple times) and that he feels incredibly bad and that he will never do it again-should he have told me what he did? Or should he have kept it to himself?

My Rationalization

I’ve not necessarily been perfect. In this relationship. When I met Dreads, I was still banging The Arab. For, oh, about a month or so. Of course I never told Dreads this. Because I’m evil. And I doubt he’d approve.

It’s not like I was fucking The Arab everyday, once or twice in that time frame. And a couple blowjobs.

Why I am very angry at Dreads

Dreads has always been a quiet person. But lately (the past few weeks) he was more like silent. He wasn’t joking around as much as usual. The sarcastic banter than we normally engage in seemed to disappear.

I kept asking him what was wrong.

He kept saying “nothing.”

Naked Picture Day!

Not of me though! I am very mad at Dreads right now (though it’s kinda hypocritical). I’m not going to say why right now but I’m sure that you can imagine that it’s very, very bad. (Still sitting here on my hypocritical high horse.)

(By the way, I’m just ramble here for a minute. The naked picture will be after the jump.)

I know I said before that “I wish I could throw his picture up because words cannot do him justice.” Now I can. Because I’m mad, it’s my blog and I can do whatever I want. And my friend Cat said I can. So there.

I know, I may seem kinda flippant right now but my emotions are rolling back and forth between raging, seething anger, trying to make myself see the humor in this and rationalizing everything in my head.

I’ll write a follow up post about the reason for the anger (if you can’t guess) but I may not post it until tomorrow. Or whatever. Maybe later today. Depends on how I’m feeling. (Right now, pretty crazy. Anything could happen.)

So if you always wanted to see a picture of a hot (in my opinion anyway) naked black man with Dreads, you’ve come to the right place. Now unfortunately, the only cock picture I have doesn’t include his damn face so I’ll have to post a few so you get the full feel. Okay? (By the way, I also told him that I was going to do this. His response was that he wishes that I wouldn’t but that he couldn’t stop me.)

Picture time!