My first doctors appointment is tomorrow. I really hate the gyno and I’m sure I can detail why I hate it more fully after my appointment tomorrow. Today is just the dread and anticipation. Let’s see if I can make a complete ass out of myself tomorrow.
(Please let me remember to shave my legs and lady bits!)
Anyway.
For whatever reason some people think this visit is a big deal. We already know I’m pregnant, what else could they possibly tell me of interest? The meaning of life perhaps? My mother has told me to call her as soon as I get out of there. I will because I don’t want her nagging me or calling me repeatedly or anything. My work mom, who is very excited about all this, is upset that she won’t be there Wednesday to hear what happened. She wants to know the due date. 40 weeks since my last period…July 25. If all goes well. But I don’t need to be a doctor or mathematician to add 40 weeks to my last period. (I am so high and mighty about knowing the due date I’ll probably be wrong.)
But a due date is kinda like a weather forecast on the nightly news. Might be right, might be wrong. Nothing is certain until it happens.
Meh.
The doctors office had me print out forms to fill out before I arrive tomorrow. Good thing they do it that way or I’d have to get there about a day early to fill out all this crap. 14 pages. They didn’t tell me whether it was an open book test or not, but I took it to be and had to phone a friend-my mom. As if I know my entire families medical history (parents, brothers and all four grandparents). Half of the diseases I haven’t even heard of.
They had to know every single detail of my life from birth on. Shouldn’t we be concentrating on the fact that I’m pregnant now, and not that I got my first period when I was 11? I don’t get periods anymore so what difference do they make? They are extinct. Like dinosaurs.
The only question that really made me think “wtf?” was this one: Are you and the baby’s father related by blood?
I hope they don’t get a lot of yeses to that question.
Hi WeOnlyWant,
My girlfriend and I were at a dance, and in walks my girlfriend’s gynecologist with a date, one day after my girlfriend had her annual exam. My girlfriend was was like… she couldn’t take it–it didn’t compute. Less than 48 hours before this man had just been looking between her spread legs and, worse than that, up inside her, and here he was dancing next to her.
I once read a series of incidents written by a woman who claimed that what she wrote was true. She said she had a problem she couldn’t control, and that was that whenever she was going to go to the gynecologist she would become terribly aroused, and when she spread her legs she was all wet. It was very embarrassing, she said, though I imagine the doctor was used to that response.
I once had a girlfriend who was studying to be a nurse. She talked about all the guy MDs who were studying to specialize in gynecology. I said, “It’s too bad that they must get so used to seeing between women’s legs that the thrill is gone.”
She said, “That’s not how it is. Those guys are the horniest guys you’d ever want to meet.”
“I don’t want to meet any of them,” I replied. “But do you know any woman penis doctors?”
She took me home, and we played nurse and patient.
P.S. I subscribed to your blog. You’re very entertaining. I like your dating stories, and I’m going to come back and read more later.
Good writing!
Matt
Just checking in since you haven’t posted in a while. How are you feeling? Hope you’re doing OK.
Hi again — you must have a baby now. How are you?