I’m not really into big declarations of “love” on Facebook. I’m actually not really into putting up any status updates that involve feelings on Facebook. I rarely comment on my boyfriend’s page and when I do it’s not really in a way that the casual observer would be able to tell that we are getting naked together.

Facebook is a place I go to make snarky comments and make people laugh. Or make them realize why they love me.  :)

But everytime I start dating someone new, or think about dating someone, I go through all my Facebook status updates since the last time I did a cleaning and check out everything that has been written. By me or by my ex. My page is private so I do it before I add the new person as a friend.

I run around deleting anything that might even remotely be construed as “I have had this this guy’s naked body parts inside my naked body parts.” Things that just look normal, everyday friendly I leave alone. I like the new guy to wonder if the guys who have commented on page have seen me naked, but not to know for sure.

With my (soon to be ex) Husband it was rough because I pretty much had to delete everything before I friended The Flake. I referred to my husband as “Husband” on Facebook and in real life. It was like his nickname. And seeing as how I don’t like telling the guys I date about my (soon to be ex) Husband, I definitely had to get rid of all proof of his existence.

So I cleaned Facebook up, friended The Flake and kept finding (for days!) more proof of my marriage to my ex. How many times can you read of your status updates, all of his comment and all of your friends comments looking for the word Husband until you find them all?

After Dreads and I broke up, I wasn’t sure of what to do. We were still friends on Facebook. We still texted. He still occasionally comments on my status updates. Neither of us have ever written anything on each other’s pages that would lead anyone to believe we were together. Even when we were together.

My problem really is not with what he writes, it that he does it at all. I never stay friends with ex’s. Ever. It’s how I prefer to live my life. But this one I left the door open with because I’m not sure if I want to walk back through it. I might, I might not. (But what I really wanted to do was to go have sex with him immediately!)

I always tell new guys that I don’t stay friends with my ex’s. Because I don’t. And I have my reasons for that.

But I was lying about it, for awhile anyway.