If you’re new to the situation, let me quickly get you up to speed-my boyfriend cheated on me. See here and there. I need to get all the crap I’m thinking out of my head.

If what he said was true-the it was only once (or even if it were a couple times) and that he feels incredibly bad and that he will never do it again-should he have told me what he did? Or should he have kept it to himself?

It would be different if it had been going on for a long period of time. Or if it had done it with multiple different people. Then he should fess up to being an asshole and having a problem. (And I’m not talking about sex addiction because I think “sex addiction” is a crock of shit, personally. Sex “addiction” is all about power, it’s an extreme betrayal. Getting what you want, all the time, because you can.)

But, supposedly, it hadn’t. So I don’t think he should have said anything.

I said a few days ago that “The only reason that people admit to cheating is to alleviate their own guilty conscious. It’s not going to help the other party to admit it. Admitting it is like a band-aid where the person can say “well at least I did the right thing in the end.”"

I think he should have sucked it up that he made a mistake and made a personal vow to himself to never do it again. I feel like he’s looking for a pat on the back for finally being honest. Like I’m supposed to trust him now because he decided to come clean.

But it’s made me reconsider everything that I thought I knew about him. I thought he was a nice guy, but is he? I thought I could trust him, but can I? Should I believe anything that comes out of his mouth now? What else has he lied about?

Telling me has made me question myself (am I good enough? what did I do wrong?) and our relationship.

So, in my opinion, he never should have told me. Granted, if I had somehow inadvertently found out, I’m sure I would be much more pissed off than I am. Because then I really wouldn’t trust him again. And I probably wouldn’t be able to try and work things out.

Thoughts anyone?